A Different Kind of Christmas

Tis the seasons to see families together, gifts exchanged, peace and good will towards man. In a home with 3 kids who have lived the majority of their lives in the "system" Christmas is more a time of anxiety and sadness. Sure there is an excitement about classroom parties and gifts but that last but an inkling for my kids who deep down are sad, are grieving the loss of their biological people and wondering why they aren't around. This year adoption is coming to our front step. We go to court to finally cut the last remaining legal ties for our kids to be adoptable. I find it ironic that it's five days before the world celebrates one small babe who was born in terrible circumstances, through a time of fear and the unknown. He was the only child given to this world to bring about restoration to have free access to the Father. His ultimate sacrifice would bring forth peace and a freedom to go to the Father any time any where. Our kids were rescued in the same way, brought about sacrifice, unending love and devotion. We continue to pursue relationship with them, we continue to forgive their antics to keep us at arm's length, we continue to supply truth to their lives and balm for their wounds. I pray this Christmas isn't just about gobs of presents and squeezing through the crowds for that not so perfect present but remembering and accepting that the best present of all is the Savior who came to restore your life. The Savior who sacrificed himself in order that you would have beauty for ashes, peace for your despair, joy for your sadness and a sure ground for you to walk on.

The Secret Weapon of Praise

    Currently we are in the month of Christmas where there are manger scenes every where and Jesus is on buttons of the faithful who still know Christmas is about Christ. Someone said this season is weird because Jesus morphs back to a little child. Jesus is no longer a babe that is weak and needing of care. We celebrate the birth of Jesus and that He came with a purpose. It took several seasons of him living a status quo life training and living before he moved to truly meet the needs of people, people like myself.
    Yesterday my husband and I went to court to yet again being pulled emotionally with the change in our foster children's plans. We have become so invested in them and them in us that the thought of them leaving us is incredibly painful. We knew going there that we would hear the plan was to be changed but we went any way to hear everything we could about the particulars and if given a chance to speak. We did not get that chance. We came home so incredibly exhausted we could barely move. We went straight to nap for a few hours. Last night we felt so heavy and belabored. We attempted small moments of escape through movies and desserts. I laid my head down for sleep last night hoping to shut it all off. This morning I rose with a purpose to spend time with the one who came to be with me.
      I sat in my club chair and read scripture and still the heaviness and tiredness hovered. Then I read a small article entitled Emmanuel, God with us. I began to really meditate on this then I was reminded of a powerful tool...praise & worship. Like Paul and Silas we had no idea what will happen next, we felt trapped and helpless. "Mary praised in the midst of her unknowing."(Geischen) So I did just that I put on my Ipod on and I praised Him in the midst of my unknowing, in the midst of my great fears and pain. I sang better is one day in your courts than thousands else where. The heaviness began to lift. My perspective shifted to the real truth! The truth that never changes.
"Because you are my helper I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely." Psalm 63:7,8
    I was reminded that there is so much power in praise, your perspective shifts and all that is there is still there but Jesus is holding my hand. He is alive and I celebrate His friendship and comfort.