Visiting my abuela (grandmother) this summer it happened to be her 85 birthday. I did not find the rather warm and squishy petite woman I was so use to seeing. Instead I saw a very frail frizzy haired lady who didn't recognize me. I introduced myself and she was so shocked to see me suddenly although I had been standing there a while. She told me she didn't know I was in town and continued to kiss my hand and tell me how much she missed me. I introduced my husband again although she had met him years ago and she she petted me on the arm often. Then she would look at me in a quizzical way and ask me my name again. This happened about every 10 minutes or so while my uncle and I tried to force feed her. If this wasn't hard enough I offered to bath her to give my uncle a break for an evening. 

We shuffled down the hall while I got her to sing a praise song because she loved singing in church many moons ago. We praised God for the whole shuffle as she sang "Jesus is a faithful friend" in Spanish. When we finally did arrive at the bathroom I began to help her undress and I wasn't prepared for the scar on her chest where one breast use to be. I wasn't prepared to find she had been sitting in her own stool for a while and didn't realize it, she was embarrassed when I told her I had to clean her. My grandmother has always been a simply minded person yet so kind and caring. If she felt you hadn't eaten, or needing more to eat regardless of the fact you just ate she would feed you plenty with loads of butter and bread. She was the woman who would sneak me extra recess money for school so I wouldn't be sad. Here she was at her most vulnerable as a human being. Here she was 85, a mother, a grandmother and a great grandmother who had won over breast cancer though she didn't know it. She now has stage 4 cancer in her hip, lungs and recently her spine. Days before she had been through 14 treatments of radiation and all she would say to me over and over after our introductions was I've been sick, I have asthma and I went to the doctor. 

Finally I eased her into her chair in the shower stall and got the water temperature to her liking I started washing her hair as she told me how good I was to her and how much she loved me. My grandmother had given me baths as a child in her home and now it was my turn to return the favor. Somehow you just never think you'll be there though you know always they are older than you. She was no longer strong, she was no longer healthy, she no longer could recognize me. I was so grateful to have gotten the opportunity to serve her and love her even though she couldn't give me much in return. 

After the bath I dressed her and put her to bed. I gave her kisses and rubbed her head and told her I would see her the next day. Then my husband and I left and I broke down in a wellspring of tears as we drove from the familiar city of my teenage years.  A week plus later I am still overwhelmed by her human frailty, I have no words of wisdom but rather just a grateful and sad heart that I got to care for the one who still is mi abuela.